dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
No subtext here. People are naked.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i believe in u and ur pee
Nobody cheats on THIS.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
