I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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