I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
