I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
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