Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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