Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
