guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
