dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
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all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
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I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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