I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
