You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
