My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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