i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
