i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
