I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize