Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
