why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize