i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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