Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
