You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
