There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
