you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
