I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
