You really coming over, don't trick.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
