I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Randomize
