I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
