he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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