apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
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We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
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Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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