sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
