My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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