I must be too annoying 4 u.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
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