We got so high we made milksteak
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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