That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
