I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
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