im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
