NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
