and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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