If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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