is your mom at the bar?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
