Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize