Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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