My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Two words: blizzard sex
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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