Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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