names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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