we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Less talking, more tequila
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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