im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
