The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
