So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
