I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
