Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
are you so shy because you have an std?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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