i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
