It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
