I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
