so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
