I just pynch a tree in the face
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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