you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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