I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
honey bunches of taint.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
