I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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