is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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