dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
