No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
honey bunches of taint.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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